Now, I like my job and the guy I work for is pretty cool.  I’m paid well, get a lot of flexibility in my schedule, and in general the place is pretty relaxed.  However, I know what the world “out there” is like; I know the mind-numbing absurdity that many of you put up with at work.  Which is why I’m going to share with you something sorta interesting that was passed on to me: a 1944 manual from the U.S. Office of Strategic Services on how to sabotage your workplace!  This formerly classified document was used as part of a presentation from two CIA members on the “Intellipedia” at something called the Enterprise 2.0 Conference.  Intellipedia, by the way, is a Wikipedia-like database used by the government intelligence community (I really just have to laugh at a phrase like that).

Back to that manual though.  You can download it, in it’s full 1944 glory, from here.  You’ll have to actually read the thing (or skim it, as I did) if you’re interested in figuring out why the hell the Feds would be interested in sabotaging businesses (the manual seems a bit convoluted on this matter, but one gets the sense that they didn’t necessarily even know how or why these tactics would be useful for them).  Then again, if you read the kinds of things in this manual, you get the sense that they quite possibly employed this strategy far and wide, perhaps as a big-picture psych-ops meant to bog down the entire country with a culture so insane and erosive that no one has the wherewithal to question the absurdity of homogenized American life.  Who knows.  But a list like this….

1.  Insist on doing everything through “channels”.  Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.

2.  Make “speeches”.  Talk as frequently as possible and at great length.  Illustrate your “points” by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences.  Never hesitate to make a few appropriate “patriotic” comments.

3.  When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.”  Attempt to make the committees as large as possible- never less than five.

4.  Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.

5.  Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.

6.  Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.

7.  Advocate “caution”.  Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.

8.  Be worried about the propriety of any decision- raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.

 

…. reads like a typical day at your office, doesn’t it?  The comments on other sites that I found with this posted all read the same: “Describes my boss exactly!” and “Whoa- my workplace must be filled with government operatives acting this stuff out!”.  One of my personal favorites is the manuals suggestion to “bring a bag of moths into a theater showing propaganda films… Moths fly towards the brightest light source. In a cinema, that’s the projector lens”.  Cool!  I might just have to try this one.

Anyway, it’s good to know that the State has all its bases covered.

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